The Magnet 079: Weird and Puzzling Signs

I’m taking a break from my multipart Tokyo trip report (here’s installment 1 | 2 | 3) to share some weird and notable signs I’ve come across recently.

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Do Not Push

At the intersection of Laurel Canyon and Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles, a sign mounted above a push-to-walk sign says “DO NOT PUSH. WAIT FOR NEXT WALK.” It’s been there for months. Every time I drove past it, I wondered why the LA Department of Transportation would install such a sign. Here’s my best guess: the sign is fake. It was installed by an individual in the neighborhood who commutes to work and drives past this particular intersection every day. This person is too impatient to deal with pedestrians who push the walk button, which forces them to wait at the red light. So they took matters into their own hands and made this official-looking sign, professionally printed on corrugated plastic. They spent considerable resources to make the sign look official, just so they wouldn't have to wait as often at the intersection. Do you have a better guess?

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You Must Leave the Gas Station

This paper sign, taped to a hydrogen pump at a service station in Los Angeles, says, “ATTENTION: HYDROGEN FUEL CUSTOMERS — WHEN PUMPS ARE DOWN YOU MUST LEAVE THE GAS STATION. NO EXCEPTIONS.” This one really confused me, so I posted the photo to Mastodon and asked for explanations. Here are the responses:

• “My guess would be, given the dearth of hydrogen fuel stations, if you're not sure if you have enough fuel to make it to the next pump you're not welcome to leave your vehicle at this one until the pump starts working again.”

• “Getting rid of needy hydrogen fuel customers that want to chitty chat about hydrogen fuel.”

• “My guess is a combination of ‘Don't block other customers with your futuristic car waiting for the pumps to come back’ and ‘Do not come inside and bother the clerk about this, we can't make the hydrogen go faster.’”

So, the consensus seems to be that the sign's primary purpose is to ensure the smooth operation of the service station, maintain traffic flow, and minimize disruptions caused by customers who linger without fueling. Can you think of any other reasons?

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All You Can Drink For ¥3,000

In Tokyo’s red-light district of Kabukicho, you’ll see young women (and occasionally men), standing on the sidewalk, holding up signs advertising all-you-can-drink for ¥3,000 ($21). Sometimes the offer is advertised as “all night,” other times it’s for 60 minutes. The all-you-can-drink offer usually includes table conversation with a young woman or man. I had no interest in taking up this offer, but I was curious about the deal because I suspected it was a scam. My suspicions were confirmed after I watched a few YouTube videos and read articles and learned that the likely outcome of following the sign-holder into a bar will end up costing you much more than $21. The alcohol you’ll be served is a low-quality, watered-down beer-like drink (which might even be laced with a drug to make you vulnerable to extortion). Your new friend will encourage you to buy something better, and when you get the bill, it could be as much as $5,000. The bouncers will escort you to an ATM and force you to withdraw the maximum amount allowed. The lesson: never follow a stranger leading you to a bar. That’s good advice for any country!

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???

I can’t solve this rebus I came across at the Mutiny Information Cafe in Denver, Colorado. I can identify the individual images: Gorby (Mikhail Gorbachev) + eye - flies + pepper. But I can’t combine them in a way that makes sense. Is there a solution or is it meant to be inscrutable?

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That’s it for this issue! Thanks to everyone who read this, and an extra-big thanks to paid subscribers!