The Magnet 079: Weird and Puzzling Signs
I’m taking a break from my multipart Tokyo trip report (here’s installment 1 | 2 | 3) to share some weird and notable signs I’ve come across recently.
Do Not Push
At the intersection of Laurel Canyon and Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles, a sign mounted above a push-to-walk sign says “DO NOT PUSH. WAIT FOR NEXT WALK.” It’s been there for months. Every time I drove past it, I wondered why the LA Department of Transportation would install such a sign. Here’s my best guess: the sign is fake. It was installed by an individual in the neighborhood who commutes to work and drives past this particular intersection every day. This person is too impatient to deal with pedestrians who push the walk button, which forces them to wait at the red light. So they took matters into their own hands and made this official-looking sign, professionally printed on corrugated plastic. They spent considerable resources to make the sign look official, just so they wouldn't have to wait as often at the intersection. Do you have a better guess?
You Must Leave the Gas Station
This paper sign, taped to a hydrogen pump at a service station in Los Angeles, says, “ATTENTION: HYDROGEN FUEL CUSTOMERS — WHEN PUMPS ARE DOWN YOU MUST LEAVE THE GAS STATION. NO EXCEPTIONS.” This one really confused me, so I posted the photo to Mastodon and asked for explanations. Here are the responses:
“My guess would be, given the dearth of hydrogen fuel stations, if you're not sure if you have enough fuel to make it to the next pump you're not welcome to leave your vehicle at this one until the pump starts working again.”
“Getting rid of needy hydrogen fuel customers that want to chitty chat about hydrogen fuel.”
“My guess is a combination of ‘Don't block other customers with your futuristic car waiting for the pumps to come back’ and ‘Do not come inside and bother the clerk about this, we can't make the hydrogen go faster.’”
So, the consensus seems to be that the sign's primary purpose is to ensure the smooth operation of the service station, maintain traffic flow, and minimize disruptions caused by customers who linger without fueling. Can you think of any other reasons?
All You Can Drink For ¥3,000
In Tokyo’s red-light district of Kabukicho, you’ll see young women (and occasionally men), standing on the sidewalk, holding up signs advertising all-you-can-drink for ¥3,000 ($21). Sometimes the offer is advertised as “all night,” other times it’s for 60 minutes. The all-you-can-drink offer usually includes table conversation with a young woman or man. I had no interest in taking up this offer, but I was curious about the deal because I suspected it was a scam. My suspicions were confirmed after I watched a few YouTube videos and read articles and learned that the likely outcome of following the sign-holder into a bar will end up costing you much more than $21. The alcohol you’ll be served is a low-quality, watered-down beer-like drink (which might even be laced with a drug to make you vulnerable to extortion). Your new friend will encourage you to buy something better, and when you get the bill, it could be as much as $5,000. The bouncers will escort you to an ATM and force you to withdraw the maximum amount allowed. The lesson: never follow a stranger leading you to a bar. That’s good advice for any country!
???
I can’t solve this rebus I came across at the Mutiny Information Cafe in Denver, Colorado. I can identify the individual images: Gorby (Mikhail Gorbachev) + eye - flies + pepper. But I can’t combine them in a way that makes sense. Is there a solution or is it meant to be inscrutable?
Free Unclassified Ads!
Last year, I started running Unclassified Ads in the Recomendo newsletter, which I write with Claudia Dawson and Kevin Kelly. The newsletter has 60,000 subscribers. We charge $200 for an ad, and most people buy more ads after learning how well it does. I decided to try running Unclassifieds in The Magnet, but with a twist. The ads will be free, and you must be an annual subscriber to run an ad. Subscribers get one free ad a year, and I’ll run them in the order I get them. The ads will be seen by paying and non-paying subscribers (9,773 as of today). Here’s the form to order an ad.
If you want to place an Unclassifed in The Magnet but don’t have a subscription, you can get one for just $25 the first year.
How to Make New Friends: Nobody teaches adults how to build relationships. But after hosting 100s of small parties, I found out a formula that works. Hi, I’m Nick. My new book has over 400 reviews on Amazon and Audible. See why: The 2-Hour Cocktail Party.
***
This LEGO Syringe Kit makes a unique gift for the nerdy nurse, physician, freshly-minted graduate, or intravenous drug enthusiast in your life! Includes only authentic new or gently-used LEGO elements individually sourced from aftermarket sites like Bricklink, eBay, and Pickabrick.
***
Nervous System Mastery is a five-week bootcamp that will equip you with evidence-backed protocols to cultivate greater calm and agency over your internal state. Learn to rewire maladaptive stress responses & improve your sleep (use code MAGNET for a $150 discount)
That’s it for this issue! Thanks to everyone who read this, and an extra-big thanks to paid subscribers!
Sounds like there is no rebus answer, but I have an answer anyway. FLAWS (the birthmark and the hairline) + EYE - FLIES = AW. AW + SOME (not all of the pepper, just some that spilled) = AWESOME.
Re rebus: https://boards.straightdope.com/t/please-help-me-solve-this-rebus/573672/129 Scroll to the near the end. Artist finally admitted there is no answer and he “made it just to fuck with people”